I know the first thought that comes to your mind when you hear stories like this one is that it was her own fault. You will say she was naïve, she was stupid. You may even say she brought all this upon herself because she was weak and she didn’t stand up for herself. But, I don’t blame you for thinking that way – you don’t know her story.
She was not weak. She was not stupid, naïve, or weird. She knew what she was getting herself into. But, she was honestly and madly in love with him. She believed her love for him would change him. She didn’t want to give up on the person she loved the most without a fight.
She didn’t know any other way of loving but that.
And she knows she deserves better. She knows you were unworthy of her love, attention, efforts, and tears. She knows you didn’t deserve her.
She knows she shouldn’t give a damn about a guy like you. A guy who left her with her heart broken without turning back to see the havoc you created in her life. A guy who dimmed her soul. A guy who wrapped her whole world in darkness.
Yet, although she’s aware she has to forget about you and rip you out of her heart, she can’t. Although she knows she should leave you in her past, she still cares about you. She’s still thinking about you and wondering what you’re doing. She still struggles to stop herself from calling you just to hear your voice.
For sure, she’ll never let you know that she’s still thinking about you. She’ll never let you know she still cares about you because she doesn’t want you to know what a powerful influence you’ve had on her life.
She doesn’t want you to know that she still keeps you in a special place in her heart. She doesn’t want to make herself look like she’s still into you even though she knows you’ve already forgotten about her.
That’s the reason why she’ll act cold when you run into her in public.
That’s the reason why she’ll remove you from her friends list on Facebook.
That’s the reason why she almost never talks about you to her friends.
She behaves like she doesn’t care about you. Because this is how it’s supposed to be.
She’s supposed to get angry when someone mentions your name because you hurt her. She’s supposed to wish you felt empty because that’s how she’s felt since you left her. She’s supposed to stop caring about you because you took her for granted. Because you let her beg for your attention and love.
She’s supposed to forget about you completely because she wasn’t enough for you. Because you failed to see the beauty of her soul. You failed to see what an amazing person you had in your life.
She’s supposed to hate you because you let her fall in love with you. You fed her hopes with your lies, empty promises, lame excuses. You carved yourself into her veins. And just when she thought that was it, that you were the love of her life, you took her heart and broke it into millions of tiny pieces and left her to pick them up on her own.
She’s supposed to hate you because you took everything away from her. Because you wrecked her hopes. Because you gave her every reason to hate you. Because you tore her heart out.
But, nothing of this is true. The only truth is that she never stopped caring about you, even after you broke her.
The only thing she stopped doing is caring about herself. She forgot how to love and treat herself with kindness and affection. She forgot how to love her reflection in the mirror because she got used to believing that there was something wrong with her, that she was full of flaws, and that this caused you to leave her.
She knows you’re nothing else but a worthless, heartless being. She knows you’re the cause of her misery and broken heart. And, still, she keeps you in it.
She knows she should despise you for everything you did to her, but she’s only hurt. She knows she should regret meeting you, but she only regrets letting all this happen.
Although your mistakes and the way you treated her were enough to make her hate you, the truth is – they never changed her feelings. She feels angry, but her heart is still beating for you.
I can just hope you’ll realize that you never deserved her nor ever will you. She’s so much better than you in every aspect and she deserves the best, too, and nothing less than that.