Done and done.
Relationships only work when there is mutual respect.
Both people see not only a value in the relationship, but a value in the other person. They see your strengths and love you for them. They know the kind of person you are, and are proud to be standing next to you.
They keep you around because they see the goodness in you and want to be around it.
We all love the benefits of being in a relationship, i.e. attention, compliments, dates, love, sex, etc. But you shouldn’t be with someone for the benefits.
You should be with him because you think he’s a good person.
You can always count on someone to unintentionally show you how they really feel about you.
You just have to pay attention.
Does your S.O. ever ask about your job or your passions? Does he brag about your successes to his friends, or just your looks? Can you talk to him about deep, real things, or is it always on the surface?
Does he encourage you to be true to yourself?
Does he believe in you?
Ask yourself these questions and then observe your relationship from an outside perspective. You’ll see how valued you really are by how your S.O. acts around you and the rest of the world.
If he doesn’t ask for your opinion on important things or include you in conversation when you both are out and he notices you’re not talking to anyone, then he probably doesn’t value you.
If he’s constantly acting like you should be able to drop whatever you’re doing to go hang out with him, the he doesn’t see your time as anything that important.
If he consistently puts his own needs before yours, and gets frustrated when you call him out on it (or act like he doesn’t care), then he’s not really invested in you.
Of course, there are always exceptions and no hard, fast rules when it comes to relationships. But if the patterns are consistent and you’re feeling rejected, then it’s time to break up.
Value isn’t something you should have to fight for.
It’s one of the few things you’re allowed to expect from your boyfriend.
And if he doesn’t give you that freely, without argument, then he’s not deserving of your valuable time.