Your twenties are spent making mistakes and finding yourself, it’s an era of terrible relationships (for the most part) insecurity, jobs that barely pay enough to make rent, confusing emotions and questionable decisions. But ultimately, your mistakes never define you – growing up my mom would always tell me that mistakes are inevitable in a life worth living, they teach you exactly what you want and who you want to be. And she was right.
You learn to take control of your life.
When you grow up with a strong mother, you do things a little bit differently than others. You learn that life and work, and life and love, are not irrespective of each other. They are intrinsically linked. You always have a shoulder to cry on. Someone to make everything okay. But you also learn to take your life back from what broke you. That you’re in total control of how you react to a situation. When things get tough, you just roll up your sleeves and get tougher. You learn to be unapologetic about your choices and make your own rules in life.
You also interact with the world a little bit differently than others.
Your mom is, and was always remembered by her beauty – but the real beauty, the kind of beauty that’s so rare in this world. The beauty of confidence, intelligence, strength and self-worth. The beauty of passion, kindness, courage and depth. The beauty of inspiring people around you to be strong, to fall back in love with themselves and to ignite in their passions. The beauty that so few have. This is what you define as beauty.
Your mom never needed a savior.
She never needed someone to rescue her and would never compete for a man’s affection. This kind of attitude is also subconsciously in you; you are not willing to put up with any romance-related bullshit. Regardless of how much you care about someone, if they don’t choose you everyday, if they don’t put forth a consistent effort to be a part of your life, if they don’t understand what satisfaction looks like, sounds like, feels like, you say bye, because you have too much to give to receive an ‘almost.’
Your mom is the greatest friend anyone could ask for.
She could light up any room with her alluring energy. She was never easy — as in, she didn’t always just go with the flow. She challenged people. She was opinionated and brilliant, and she didn’t always agree because she knew that no positive growth or change comes from someone telling you something you want to hear to feed your ego. She would risk a fight, have the uncomfortable conversation in order to tear down people’s walls, making them greater because of it.
Your mom is life’s biggest treasure.
Being exposed to such a bold attitude made you a risk-taker in all aspects of your life. Your mom told you that this world mistakes comfort for happiness, but comfort is just easier than happiness. Happiness takes effort. In our lives and relationships it requires making an effort, confronting fears, facing difficult situations, and having unpleasant conversations. Because of your mother, you don’t just tolerate your life. You make your life something extraordinary. But the most important thing you do differently than others is that you understand that the extraordinary has to start with you.