I’m Pretty Sure My Super High Standards Are Keeping Me Single—And I’m Totally OK With That

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Finding someone worth dating is almost impossible for me, which means I’m almost always single. Here’s why I’m just fine on my own instead of hunting for someone to settle down with.

1. I WILL NEVER SETTLE FOR LOVE.
Why settle for a less than perfect partner when being single is so great? If I meet someone spectacular who sweeps me off my feet and is supportive of my goals and way of life, I’ll be happy, but no happier than I already am as a single woman. I’ll never enter a relationship just because I don’t want to be alone. Those relationships are always bound to fail because they happen for all the wrong reasons.

2. I HAVE PLENTY OF OTHER THINGS TO OCCUPY MY TIME.
Relationships are time-consuming and I am far from bored with my life. Between my job, my family, and my friendships, I simply don’t have room to fit in a significant other. It would take a really special person to make me voluntarily give up any of the things I’m passionate about.

3. MY FRIENDS WILL ALWAYS BE MY PRIMARY RELATIONSHIPS.
Even during my most serious relationship, I never let my friendships take on a less significant role. Any partner I have will always be of secondary importance in my life because the love I feel for my friends is more unconditional than anything I could ever feel for a romantic partner. My friends are friends for life. Romantic partners are temporary.

4. I’M GOOD AT DOING THINGS ON MY OWN.
I’ve always been extremely independent and self-sufficient and I’ve never met anyone who fit seamlessly into my world or enhanced my quality of life in any meaningful way. In my previous relationships, I’ve always had to compromise some small part of myself in order to make the other person feel needed and I’m not interested in doing that anymore. I enjoy being fully myself and if that means staying single, that’s more than fine with me.

5. I LIKE DATING AROUND.
All of my emotional needs are satisfied through my relationships with myself, my close friends, and my family, which means that I only really go out with romantic partners for the physical intimacy. A steady relationship isn’t necessary and sex isn’t something I need on a regular basis. Why would I tie myself to someone when I’m happy meeting new people and moving on?

6. I DON’T PLAY GAMES.
It seems like everyone is always on the lookout for a better option these days, and I decided awhile ago that I’m opting out of all of that. I refuse to sit around and wait for anyone to make up their mind about whether or not I’m worth investing in. I am worth it, and if someone can’t see that right away, I’m not going to let them take their time exploring their options. I’m too good for that.

7. I’M AN OPTIMIST ABOUT LOVE.
I don’t believe in love being harder to find the older you get. There isn’t a ticking clock with an alarm that goes off the second you hit 40 or 50. I believe that you can find love at any point and that it comes to you at exactly the right time. I’m not going to compromise my standards just because I’m afraid of being alone.

8. THE AMOUNT OF EMOTIONAL TOLL RELATIONSHIPS TAKE ISN’T WHAT I NEED IN MY LIFE.
It takes awhile before a relationship can reach some level of stability, and I don’t want a partner badly enough to endure the ups and downs and uncertainty that is required to reach that point. I’m content on my own. Why mess with a good thing?

9. I KNOW I’LL LIVE A VERY HAPPY LIFE IF I END UP SINGLE.
I will never give up on finding someone to share my life with, but I also won’t be spending my time searching for anyone who fits that description either. When I think about living my life as a single woman, I feel just as excited as I do when I think about living my life with someone else. My future would be different with a partner, but not better.

10. I’D RATHER BE HAPPY ON MY OWN THAN UNHAPPY IN A RELATIONSHIP.
If there’s one thing I’ve proven to myself time and again, it’s that I’m just as happy single as I am in a relationship. In fact, the only times I’ve ever been truly miserable are when I’ve been in bad relationships. I don’t need a partner to make my life feel complete. I’m happy on my own and I wouldn’t trade that for all the security that a mediocre relationship can offer.

By Rose Nolan for Bolde

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