Modern Dating Sucks When You Care Too Much

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Modern dating sucks when you care too much because you are always the one who loves more. The one who tries hardest. The one who chases. The one who stays for too long. The one who gets hurt the worst. The one who struggles to heal.

Modern dating sucks when you care too much because it’s become commonplace to drop off the face of the planet. Messages are ignored all the time. Plans are canceled all the time. Even though your feelings are hurt whenever someone spends a week or two ignoring you, you feel like you don’t have the right to call them out on their behavior because it has become acceptable. You would look like the crazy one for being upset, when really, they are crazy for expecting you to put up with their inconsistencies.

Modern dating sucks when you care too much because you are expected to tone it down. Everyone else acts heartless, so you are expected to hold back your enthusiasm and I love yous until an acceptable amount of time has passed in order to fit in with the crowd. You have to censor yourself to avoid scaring people off. You have to monitor what comes out of your mouth and how touchy-feely you get on dates, because if you spoke from the heart, no one would know how to handle your honesty.

Modern dating sucks when you care too much because you wear your heart on your sleeve. Everyone knows what you are thinking at any given moment. There aren’t any surprises with you. This should be a good thing, but in the modern world people tend to keep their cards close to their chest. They have a hard time letting down their guard. Your openness can be intimidating. It can be too much for some hearts to handle.

Modern dating sucks when you care too much because most people are temporary. They are only going to flirt with you for a little while before slowly distancing themselves, avoiding your texts, fading from your world like a ghost. You are still going to be thinking about them months later, wondering what went wrong and how they have been without you, even though they are long gone. Even though they have already moved onto their next mark.

Modern dating sucks when you care too much because you require a long healing period. You cannot get over exes in a snap. You cannot even get over almosts, who you never officially dated, without a few weeks, or months, or maybe even years to get over what could have been. Without closure, which is rare in the modern world, you have trouble moving on. You keep thinking about people who haven’t thought about you in a long while.

Modern dating sucks when you care too much because you are labeled as clingy unless you wait weeks between texts. You are labeled as overemotional unless you pretend nothing bothers you. You are labeled as psycho unless you let other people stomp all over your heart without saying a word.

By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog

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