You lose her when you stop paying attention to her. To her feelings. To the changes in her behavior. To the sadness in her eyes. To the things she’s been subtly asking you to do but you’ve been oblivious to them all.
You lose her when you give her the feeling that her presence in your life is not important. That you’re fine without her, that you don’t need her in your life as much as she needs you. When you make her feel that spending time with her is an obligation and not something that will make your day better.
You lose her when you make her feel that being with her is like being with any other girl.
You lose her when you don’t let her in. When you keep her at arm’s length and refuse to tell her your deepest secrets. When you make her feel that you don’t trust her enough the way you trust your friends about what’s really going on in your life and about what really matters.
You lose her when you deliberately ignore her questions, her updates, her life and the things that everyone else is proud of her for, the things she works so hard for and the things that she’s been trying to achieve. You lose her when you forget to celebrate her milestones and be there for the significant moments in her life.
You lose her when you stop communicating. When you stop saying things she needs to hear. When you stop showing appreciation or expressing your love for her. When you don’t consistently check up on her or ask about her day.
You lose her when you become known for your absence, for not showing up, for not being there, for always prioritizing something else before her. You lose her when you choose selfishness over her. You lose her when you can sense that she’s getting fed up with you and your actions yet you don’t try to make it up to her, you don’t say a word, you don’t try to fight for her to stay.
You lose her when you make her feel like a fool for picking you out of everyone else. You lose her when you make her feel that she made the wrong choice — that she shouldn’t have picked you.