A lot of times, your mind and heart can deceive you in your relationships. Of course, you always have to be able to have a healthy balance of emotion and reason with how you go about your love life, but sometimes, imbalances are inevitable. And when these imbalances occur, they can often be destructive on the self and on the relationship as a whole especially when they are left unchecked. A person can become so emotionally invested in a relationship to the point wherein the feelings and biases can cloud one’s judgement. And when one’s reason is impaired, it may potentially lead to manipulation and abuse. You might end up losing sight of your own happiness in favor of a relationship that is just plain toxic and destructive to be in. You may end up compromising your own sanity for a love that isn’t healthy or legitimate.
That’s why it’s important for a lot of people in relationships to always practice a sense of self-awareness and self-love. Remember that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes in a relationship. You don’t always have to be making sacrifices and compromises for the relationship especially when it seems a little one-sided.
At the end of the day, the relationship should be making you happy and building you up to become a better person. If it is doing the opposite of those things, then you have to consider the possibility that maybe this relationship isn’t right for you at all. And when you are brave enough to come to terms with the truth that the relationship is bad for you, you must also be brave enough to leave it. You have to have the strength to end things and move on with your life even if it means you being single for a little while.
So how do you know if your relationship is a toxic one? You just have to be able to figure the signs out. You have to stay vigilant and you can’t afford to get complacent. Yes, you should love wholeheartedly, but that doesn’t mean that you have to love absentmindedly. Keep your own heart and your happiness in check by making sure to steer away from relationships that exhibit these toxic signs:
1. Your partner exhibits passive aggressive behavior.
Passive aggressiveness in a relationship is toxic because it shows a lack of value for real communication. Toxic couples will resort to passive aggressiveness to deal with their problems in an unhealthy manner.
2. You will be made to feel inferior and worthless.
In a toxic relationship, you won’t be built up to feel like you can conquer the world. You won’t be made to feel like you are loved and appreciated which is weird considering you are both supposedly in love with each other.
3. Your partner acts jealous all the time without any justifiable reason.
A jealous partner isn’t necessarily going to be a bad thing. But when a partner is obsessively jealous, it may imply a sense of ownership which shouldn’t be the case. You should both be willing to trust and respect one another to be loyal.
4. Your partner criticizes you for the sake of hurting you.
Criticism should be welcome in a relationship so as long as it is done in good faith. Of course, you would always be open to your partner telling you on how you can improve. But if your partner is doing it just to make you feel bad, then that’s just maltreatment.
5. You mostly feel isolated and alone.
In a toxic relationship, instead of feeling like you have constant companionship, you are going to be made to feel like you are alone and isolated. You will be led to believe that you have no one to help you out of the hole that you’re in.
6. Your partner looks to pick fights with you just to cause you stress.
Arguments and fights happen in relationships all the time. But when they happen with a certain frequency that just isn’t productive anymore, then that’s when you know that things are getting toxic. This is especially evident whenever arguments start becoming cyclical in nature. They seem like they never end.
7. You don’t feel comfortable with being yourself in the relationship.
You must always be made to feel like you can be fine with being your true self. You should never feel pressured to hide who you really are. You should always be encouraged to show your true colors in a relationship.
8. You feel like you have to compromise your own happiness for the sake of the relationship.
Your own happiness should be directly connected to your relationship. The two need not be mutually exclusive. You know that you are in a truly toxic relationship whenever you have to choose one happiness over the other.
9. You think more fondly of the past because you are scared of the future.
You still cling to the memories of the past in your relationship because they comfort you. Things aren’t going so well anymore and the future practically frightens you.