Do you believe in soulmates? Someone asked me this once, and I wasn’t really sure how to respond. Is it really possible that there’s a person in the world that’s a genuinely perfect match for you? If so, what exactly does that mean? It’s been said that a soulmate is someone who challenges you, touches your soul, inspires you to change, loves you for everything you are, and understands all of your quirks and idiosyncrasies. It seems impossible that such a person exists, right? Well, not if that person is you. Maybe it’s time to stop looking for a soulmate and be your own.
1. CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO BE A BETTER PERSON. Whether it’s a push to complete that extra mile on your morning run or to open your mind to problems in the world, you can be your own motivator. Think of things about yourself that you wish to change. Is it how you interact with people at work? Is it how you maintain your relationship with a parent? Is it your job? Is it how you act around dudes? Instead of going to another person to work through these challenges, talk these things through with yourself. Give yourself goals and hold yourself accountable. Be your own challenger.
2. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. I mean, don’t just sit at home every day and night and talk to yourself — being social is important to our psyche and we definitely need our friends — but learn to depend on yourself for support and acceptance. Tell yourself secrets that nobody else knows. Be honest with yourself about difficult situations and about who you are. You won’t tell your own secrets and you surely won’t lie to yourself. Give yourself props for that awesome project at work and give yourself advice about the new guy you’re seeing. Be your own go-to.
3. BE YOUR OWN ROMANTIC PARTNER. Again, don’t turn away relationships, but don’t ignore the romantic relationship with yourself, either. Take yourself on a date to dinner and drinks. Take yourself shopping. When you get home, light some candles and pour a glass of wine and play some romantic music. If you’re into it, get naughty with yourself and when you’re done, hug yourself and tell yourself how beautiful you are. I know that sounds weird, but what would happen if you treated yourself the way you want a romantic partner to treat you? Be your own standard of romance.
4. FACE THE WORLD WITH CONFIDENCE BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PARTNER ALWAYS BY YOUR SIDE. Know that feeling of pure confidence when you walk into a party with your significant other? Why does that person give you confidence, and why can’t you give it to yourself? Be confident in knowing that you have someone that loves you for who you are and thinks you’re the cat’s pajamas. Know that there is a person who will accept you know matter what, laugh at all of your jokes, and go home with you at the end of the night. That person is you. Be your own booster.
If you can be your own soulmate, then you take the pressure off of a stranger to be that person and then you’re never disappointed. Plus, can you imagine how much easier breakups would be if you knew you weren’t losing a part of yourself?