I’m not cutting you out of my world to get revenge on you. To give you a taste of your own medicine. To make you cry over me the way I have wasted so many tears over you. I’m not that vindictive. My goal isn’t to make you upset. Honestly, after everything you have done to me, I still want what’s best for you. I still hope you discover happiness — it’s just not going to be alongside me.
I’m cutting out of my world because you don’t deserve me. You don’t deserve all of the effort I have been putting into this relationship since day one. You don’t deserve the sweet texts I send to cheer you up after you’ve had a rough day or the way I make sure the dishes are done for you when you come home from work. You don’t deserve the little surprises I have given you out of the kindness of my heart or the respectful way I talk to you even when your temper flares. You don’t deserve someone like me. Not at all.
I’m cutting you out of my world because no matter how many chances I give you, it still isn’t enough to convince you to treat me the right way. You always find a way to screw up each and every opportunity you’re given. Your apologies have become meaningless to me. I’m not going to take you seriously when you say sorry if you repeat the same mistake two minutes later. I’m not that gullible. You can’t pull one over on me anymore. I’m not going to let it happen again.
I’m cutting you out of my world because after a lifetime of letting myself get walked over, I finally recognize my worth. I am not supposed to be treated with disrespect. I am not supposed to be trapped inside of a one-sided relationship. I am not supposed to sit up every night, questioning whether I am good enough for the love of my life. I should feel comfortable in a relationship. I should feel like I’m loved and like I’m wanted, not like I’m annoying or like I’m a burden.
I’m cutting you out of my world because your love is no longer enough to convince me to stay. I also need your respect. Your affection. Your attention. Your appreciation. Your honesty and loyalty and dependability. I don’t need someone around who relies on me for everything even though they cannot provide for me at all. I should not have to guess whether you’re actually going to answer your texts this time or whether you’re going to come home straight after work. I should feel confident with my person. I should feel like they would never do anything to hurt me.
I’m cutting you out of my world because you don’t deserve me. You never did. My friends and family have been telling me that for a while and it’s time that I finally listen to them. It’s time that I finally leave.
By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog