The Truth Is I Love Being A Woman Who Is ‘Too Much’

I was laying in my bed last night, pondering on all the times I have been told I am “too much.” I am the woman who sometimes wonders if she is too much to handle, too much to hold, too hard to love, too much to be with.



Men seem to be attracted to the idea of me. I am an attractive, independent, kind-hearted woman, but when they start to dig deeper, then all of the sudden I am just “too much.” It seems like I look good on paper but I am too much to actually be with in real life because it requires these men to do things that they aren’t ready to do: to grow, to work harder, and to think outside the box.

I have lost count of how many times I have been told these words.

You ARE too much. 

You’re too opinionated, too blunt, too bold, too loud, too direct, too sexy, too bossy, too bitchy, too emotional, too moody, too funny, too crazy, too mean, too nice.

But you know what? I am proud of being a “too much woman” because I never half-ass anything. I am the one who loves too hard, feels too deeply, asks too often, thinks too much, wants too much, and desires too much. I am the woman that does too much or nothing at all. I am the type of woman that some consider too wild, too shy, too confident, too talkative, too strong, too aggressive, too sexual, too demure, too risky, too conservative, too much of everything.

Fuck the world and their opinion.

I embrace being too much because I’ve learned that when you expect less and demand less, you get less.

I am a “too much woman” because I don’t shrink to control people’s opinions of me. I wasn’t made to fit into a box that is too small for the magnificence that I hold inside. I am the too much woman that refuses to fit the mold, I break the mf mold.

Through these years, I realized that I was born to sparkle. To me, being a too much woman means being unapologetically, fiercely, and wholeheartedly you. I was born to live a life that is firmly entrenched in the beauty that lights me up and makes me feel alive.



I am too much, too intense, too strong-willed.

I am the woman who refuses to give up on herself. I am the woman who won’t quiet down her heart but wants to share herself with the world. I do not have to apologize for the full magnitude of the person that I am. I will not apologize for having needs and voicing them, even though I know I’ll be viewed as too bitchy or too outspoken. I am the woman that knows she can’t change the world right away, but she can create a space in it that will make her happy, and by staying true to myself I can make a difference in the world.

I am a too much woman for everything that I am;

For having too many dreams.

For having too many standards.

For being too passionate.

For loving too hard.

For being too strong.

For being too smart.

For being me.

Yes, I am that woman who feels too much, wants too much, needs too much.

When I walk into a room my presence is felt. I take up so much space, my steps are strong and steady, I take as much space as I need. I know I am worthy of the room.

I embrace the woman I am.

I am the too much woman who doesn’t hold herself back. I am the woman who has learned how to love herself. Being a woman means loving yourself when the rest of society says you’re too big, too muscular, too short, too dark, too much. I am the woman who chooses herself. I love all my too-muchness, and I know one day, I will find the love I crave for.



I realized it was time to learn to love every aspect of my true nature, but also to gain the power and confidence that come from connecting to my truest truth.

I’ve been called a stuck up and been told I will end up alone because I have too many standards and my standards are too high, but the truth is, I just know what I want and will not settle for anything less. I guess I am being too much by simply demanding exactly what I want out of life.

We as women were not cut out to be less.

We as women are supposed to be too emotional, too crazy, too passionate, to love too much and to feel too deeply.

I am a too much woman, I stand powerfully in the truth of who I am.

By Mitzi J Hernandez for ThoughtCatalog

Related article:

Brutally Honest Confessions Of A Strong, Independent Woman

Being strong and independent women is the only way we know how to be and we’re not sorry for it, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. While our passion, ambition and zero tolerance for BS serves us well in life as a whole, there are some things we wish the guys we date would understand without us having to spell it out:

1. WE DON’T NEED YOU, BUT WE DO WANT THE COMPANY OF THE RIGHT GUY AT THE END OF A LONG DAY. We don’t need a guy to be happy, but that doesn’t mean we want to be alone or that we wouldn’t welcome an amazing guy into our lives. We won’t be with someone just for the sake of it, but if we want you around, it’s because we think you’re worth it. We might be totally self-sufficient, but we’d still love to come home to someone who’s supportive and loving at the end of the day.



2. WE’RE OUT BEING BOSSES ALL DAY EVERY DAY; YOU CAN TAKE THE LEAD IN THE SHEETS.It’s tough for any independent woman to admit, but many of us like a guy to be strong and dominant in bed. After spending all day hustling professionally, we’re exhausted and want someone to just make us feel good, no stress on our end. Go ahead and take the lead; we’ll let you know if you do something we don’t enjoy, and we’ll definitely let you know when you’re doing something incredible.

3. WE LIKE CUDDLING AND BEING HELD ALL NIGHT. We’re mature enough to know that wanting to be held by someone we love doesn’t make us week or needy — it means we’re human beings that love giving and receiving affection. Bonus points for the little neck kiss during those sleepy early morning hours before the day starts (especially if it leads to some pre-work booty to get the day started right).

4. WE ACTUALLY LIKE COOKING AND MAKING OUR PLACE LOOK BOMB. While the idea of women as Suzy Homemakers and nothing more went out with the 1960s, we do enjoy cooking and making our homes look awesome. It’s called providing for ourselves and taking pride in our homes — doesn’t everyone do that?

5. WE LIKE IT WHEN YOU ACT LIKE A GENTLEMAN.We know that opening a door for us doesn’t mean you think we’re incapable of opening doors, and no, we’re not going to get offended if you do it. We realize that it’s a sign of respect, and we appreciate it. Especially in a world where it’s becoming so much more acceptable to disrespect women, we like meeting one of the good guys who still pulls out a few chivalrous stops.



6. WE’RE NOT SELFISH; IF WE LIKE YOU, WE’LL STRIVE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.Strong, independent women get a bad rap for being selfish sometimes, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, we put in a lot of effort to please the ones we love. If you show us that you’re worth the effort, you’ll see how rewarding it is to be on our priority list.

7. WE DON’T REFUSE TO RESPECT YOU; WE JUST SEE RESPECT AS A TWO-WAY STREET.So many guys seem to think that we should automatically respect them simply because of their gender, and that’s BS. We know that respect is absolutely necessary in a relationship, but respect is given when it’s received. We want a partner who sees us as an equal, not as someone he can boss around. That’s not a relationship (at least not one we’d want to be part of).

8. OURS IS THE BEST KIND OF LOVE.To win the love of a strong woman is to win something truly special, because we’re choosing to keep you around for the best possible reason: because we want you there. Only the purest love survives based upon desire alone without necessity. You deserve to be loved just for being you, and the best way to find that kind of love is to pursue the strong woman who doesn’t need you, but who will welcome you into her life with open arms.




By Anna Martin for Bolde