I know this truth will feel like a knife in your heart—but, my dear sweet woman, if he wanted to be with you, he would be.
If this man who you’ve given so much of your heart to was able to understand even one iota of what your love truly means, then he never would have turned his back on the magnificent woman you are.
Love is rarely mutual, which is why when it is, magic explodes in the brilliance of stardust.
I know it seems like perhaps it’s just bad timing—that maybe he isn’t ready for you, or even that he’s not sure he deserves you—but none of that is the point.
The only thing that matters is that if he wanted to be with you—he would be.
For when a man falls in love with a woman, nothing can stand in the way. Not life, obstacles or even one’s ideas of readiness or worthiness.
Because as much as we’d like to think otherwise, there is no real reason that he’s not beside you this evening, other than the fact that he’d rather be somewhere else.
There’s no greater pain than loving someone and having them not choose you, but the sad truth is that it’s not your fault. However, that doesn’t make it his fault either. Sometimes love just doesn’t work out the way we want it to.
Sometimes it’s just not right—and unfortunately, sometimes it is right, but we choose to walk away anyway.
I wish I could tell you that there will be someone else out there who sees everything that the other man didn’t—and when he kisses you, you’ll understand why it didn’t work out with the man who stole your heart.
However, the reality is—I can’t.
See, there are lessons in love, and sometimes we come face to face with the kind of love we have only ever dreamed of—yet that doesn’t mean it will always have a happy ending.
Sometimes, in this life, we only find something once. We can say that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and that there are a number of people who can come together and be happy, and perhaps that is often true—but as you know, so much more exists to love than just happiness.
Yet, even that knowledge doesn’t make it any better—the only choice you have to make is whether you’re going to keep making excuses for a man who can’t decide if he wants you, or if you are going to choose joy instead.
Will you let go of someone who’s never been able to commit to you, and instead, make room for someone who will?
Someday, a man will come into your life, and he will simply show up for you. He will be present, he will be sure, and even if the fires don’t burn quite as passionately, he will stay where others only left.
I know that you love this man who won’t choose you, and I know that there is pain in your heart, because out of everything in this world, all you really want is for him to be there with you—but, my lovely woman, he isn’t.
Any man who really wanted to be with you wouldn’t be this conflicted about it. Maybe there would be things to figure out, or situations to discuss, but that would be something to figure out together.
Maybe it just wasn’t love for him—-or sadly, maybe it was, but he just couldn’t accept it.
We never know what each new day might bring, and while it’s tempting to just sit and wait for the perfect time—hoping that this love that feels so right might eventually come to fruition—sometimes it’s just time wasted.
We each take our own journey in this life, and sometimes these men we love truly do have to lose it all before they realize what they had—or could have had. Sometimes we need to figure things out and grow, but you must realize that if he really wanted to be with you—he would be.
All the reasons he believes about why it wouldn’t work, or why it’s foolish, would suddenly seem inconsequential in comparison to the way your eyes make his heart flutter. The obstacles and difficulties would melt in the heat you both create between you—quite simply, nothing else would matter.
And so, sometimes the only choice we have is to simply love them from afar and welcome new possibilities into our hearts, because waiting can only be done for so long before it is truly done in vain.
No one doubts your love for him, but how long do you want to love a man who refuses to love you in return?
How long will you tell yourself that perhaps tomorrow is the day he’ll decide he can’t live without you?
As difficult as it is to accept, the only reason you’re not with him right now is because he doesn’t want to be there with you. Life is pulling him in another direction—or maybe, it’s just that he’s chosen to walk down a different path. After all, that’s the thing about love—we always have a choice.
And though we may wish he’d made a different one, the reality is—he didn’t.
As much as you may love him, the reality is that if he really wanted to be with you—he would be.
“There’s a difference between somebody who wants you and somebody who would do anything to keep you. Remember that.” ~ ExtremeMadness.com
Author: Kate Rose for ElephantJournal
When Someone Loves You, They Don’t Have To Say It; You Can Tell By The Way They Treat You
When someone loves you, they shouldn’t be acting as if it’s a burden to be spending time with you. They shouldn’t be making it seem like they’re merely fulfilling a duty by being with you. They shouldn’t be annoyed with having to reply to your text messages in the middle of a busy work day. They shouldn’t make you feel like you are annoying them with your presence in their life. When someone really loves you, they don’t have to tell you that they love you; they show you they love you by treating you the way that you deserve to be treated.
When someone loves you, they would always make an effort to really plan things out in the relationship. They wouldn’t just be waiting on you before they act. They would always take a proactive role in making sure that your relationship is consistently growing and getting stronger. They would never be shy about initiating the first text; they would never be shy about kissing you and hugging you. When someone is truly in love with you, they wouldn’t be afraid of letting their feelings be known to you. They would do whatever it takes to make you trust them; and that includes becoming completely open and vulnerable to you.
When someone loves you, they are always going to make a conscious effort to never make you feel excluded. They would never do anything to make it seem like you are a mere spectator to their life. They wouldn’t be making decisions without consulting you. When someone loves you, they would always want to include you in the planning and decision-making process. They would always want to hear your take on things. They would always want to find out about what you think.
When someone loves you, they greatly value your opinion because they trust you more than anyone else on this planet. When someone loves you, you wouldn’t ever have to worry about waking up one day and realizing that they feel something different about you. You are always going to get a sense of security and stability with them because they make sure that you feel that.
When someone loves you, they would never keep score of how many times they would do favors or run errands for you. They would always do whatever it takes to make your life as easy and as comfortable as possible. They wouldn’t complain about being of service to you because they would consider it their pleasure. It would bring so much happiness into their life to know that they are able to make you happy. They are always going to take pride in being able to bring a smile to your face. They are always going to be willing to do whatever it takes to be a light of joy in your life.
When someone loves you, they are never going to do anything that will feed into your insecurities. They are never going to do or say anything that will make you feel like you are less of a human being. In fact, they are going to do the total opposite. They are going to always lift you up. They are going to give you the confidence and encouragement that you need to believe in yourself. They are going to give you the bravery that you need to go after the things that you most want in this life.
They are going to give you the motivation that you need to make a name for yourself. When someone loves you, they are going to believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself. When someone loves you, they are always going to do whatever it takes to make sure you feel wanted, valued, and appreciated. They are always going to make sure that you don’t feel like you don’t matter to them.
When someone loves you, they don’t really have to tell you that they love you in order for you to feel that love. It’s going to be evident in all of the ways that they treat you. It’s going to be obvious in all of the ways that they act when they’re around you.
When someone is genuinely in love with you, there is going to be very little doubt of that person’s love. You won’t find yourself questioning that love all too often. In fact, you’re probably never going to find yourself questioning that love at all. When someone is in love with you, you are always going to feel a sense of safety and security with this person. You are always going to feel like you’re at home whenever you’re with his person. When someone loves you, they give you the confidence to believe that you can genuinely spend the rest of your lives together.