Sleep is precious and it must never be violated. You have to be able to grab at any opportunity that you can to grab some snoozes. Sleep is good for you. And when you wake up, you will feel more refreshed and energized to do more things in life.
However, that doesn’t mean that you and your partner should just mindlessly drift off to dreamland the moment that you both touch the bed. Take some time to make he most of this intimate setting to bond with one another. It doesn’t even have to take too long. Even a few minutes in bed spent bonding and communicating to one another every night will do wonders for your emotional connection.
But if you feel like you still need some more tips on how you can have better pre-bedtime habits, then you should just read on until the end of this article:
1. Put your phones away and ignore them until morning.
Cellphones are marvelous technological devices. They are a great manifestation of human growth and ingenuity. However, they have no place in the bedroom before going to sleep. Put them away. Avoid all distractions when you’re in bed together. Just be present in each other’s lives and give each other all of your individual attention. Focus on yourselves and on your relationship. Your messages and emails can wait until the morning.
2. Avoid talks and thoughts about work.
Leave work at the office. Keep it out of the bedroom. Make sure that anything you talk about in your bedroom should be about your relationship.
3. Go to bed at the same time as often as possible.
When you go to sleep at the same time, there is a certain camaraderie that is present there that is absolutely vital to the relationship. It shows that both people in the relationship are invested in maintain synchronicity and intimacy.
4. Develop a routine with each other.
Like the previous item listed on here, this tip helps promote synchronicity in a relationship. It’s nice for couples to have a few solid routines to fall back on every night. It generates consistency and stability in an unstable world.
5. Have a deep conversation with each other.
Sometimes, a nice deep philosophical or emotional conversation with the person you love the most is the perfect way to end the day. Sure, it’s nice to engage in small talk wen you’re in bed together. But don’t be afraid of really digging in and going deep either. You should both be able to explore each other’s minds. And it makes sense for you to do so after the end of a long day where you get to really reflect on life.
6. Avoid arguments or touchy topics.
Don’t go to bed with negative energy. That’s not a good way to go to sleep with each other. So make sure that if you’re conversing with one another in bed, then avoid topics that could potentially lead to conflict or an argument. Keep things nonconfrontational and easy.
7. Keep your sleeping area free of children.
According to leading relationship experts, the only acceptable time to have children share a bed with you is if they are struggling with nightmares or difficult thoughts. But in all other times, you have to be able to make them respect the sanctity of your bedroom. Your bedroom should always be your personal private space as a couple and no one should get to violate it.
8. Keep pets away as well.
Like the previous item listed on here, it makes sense for you to keep your pets away from the bedroom. Your bedroom should always be your own personal sanctuary. And while you do love your pets, they have their own place inside the house and it’s definitely not in your bedroom. Keep your bedroom exclusively to yourselves as a couple.
9. Put away the cigarettes and the booze.
Studies have shown that cigarettes and alcohol intake directly before bedtime isn’t a good thing. Experts have concluded that you risk compromising a good night’s sleep if you smoke or drink right before you drift away into your deep slumber.
10. Give each other a nice massage.
Life can be stressful. And sometimes, a good massage from the person we love the most can be just what we need to end the day on a high note. So don’t be afraid to get your hands on your partner’s tight muscles to help relieve their stress. It’s a simple gesture but it’s going to go a long way in building your intimacy.
11. Get physically intimate with each other.
Hugs and kisses are great. They are a perfectly innocent and yet effective way to express physical intimacy with another person. And when you’re in bed with one another, don’t be so withholding of your hugs and kisses. Let your partner know just how much you love them by keeping the tight in your embrace.
10 Habits of Couples in Strong and Healthy Relationships
What makes for a heathy romantic relationship differs from couple to couple. Forming a trusting and positive partnership takes effort and time. And unfortunately, it doesn’t just happen overnight. For any relationship to grow strong and stay strong, you need to put in some work. Below are some habits that will create and maintain a happy and healthy twosome.
Communication is key. It is one of the most important qualities in keeping a healthy relationship. However, not everyone knows how to communicate properly, or even communicate at all. Happy and healthy couples have their communication game down. They communicate the good. They vocalize their love for one another, saying “I love you” often and offering compliments to their partner. They also discuss the bad, instead of sweeping issues under the rug. In order to move forward and grow as a couple, you two need to be able to truly talk about your feelings. No matter how awkward or uncomfortable it feels, it will make for a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship.
Aretha Franklin sang a whole song about it, so you know it’s got to be important. Respecting your partner comes in many forms. Maintaining a joyful relationship means respecting your partner’s time, heart, character, and trust. However, there are many things people do in relationships that can break down respect between one another. Some of these include name-calling, talking negatively about the other to friends or family, and/or threatening to leave the relationship.
Quality Time, Not Quantity
It’s all about quality over quantity. It doesn’t matter how much time you and your partner spend together. The most important part is about the quality of this time. There’s a huge difference between having dinner at a table while talking about your day at work, versus having dinner while sitting on a couch watching the latest episode of The Voice. It’s fine to zone out together and enjoy distractions, but it’s crucial to make sure you two are still engaging and spending quality time together to maintain a deep connection.
Spending time together with your partner is important. But just as important is spending time apart. Being able to do your own things and remain independent is vital. When couples spend too much time together, it can create an unhealthy codependent relationship. Maintaining healthy boundaries and some autonomy will make for a long-lasting partnership.
Gary Chapman created the notion that men and women have five love languages. The concept is that people have unique ways of feeling loved. The five love languages are: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. It’s important to know what love language speaks to you, along with your partner’s, and they might be different. Telling each other what makes you feel loved and special helps both of you stay connected. Furthermore, make sure you are attending to your partner’s love language consistently.
Often, we forget to let other people in our lives know that we appreciate them. We think it, but we don’t remember to show it. This occurs in our romantic relationships as well. Show your special someone that you love him or her. This could be done by words, cards, flowers, acts of kindness, or more. Remember, a flower a day keeps the relationship fights at bay. Okay, maybe not every day, but you get the point.
Positive Vs. Negative
Sometimes we get caught up in the negative. We hate our jobs, are annoyed with our friends and our boyfriend or girlfriend is getting on our last nerve. Uh oh, have we been drinking too much of that half empty glass? It’s vital that we look at our partner’s positive qualities versus the negative. Nobody is perfect, and that includes our significant other. So instead of focusing on the bad in the other person, let’s make a conscious effort to look at the good.
Pick and Choose Your Battles
There are arguments to be had in every relationship. It’s crucial to bring issues to the forefront and work through the hard times together. However, I don’t think arguing over your girlfriend using your favorite coffee cup should be one of those. You don’t want to be the girl who cried “argument,” do you? Pick and chose your battles wisely, because people in happy and healthy relationships do.
Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s also talk about how important it is in cultivating a flourishing relationship. Sex is simple. The more you have it, the more you want it. The other side of that is true as well. The less you have it, the less you want it. And, unfortunately, the less you feel connected to your partner will follow. Keep your sex life alive and interesting. “Spicing it up” is not just meant for the kitchen.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Or even if it is, it might not be the kind of grass you would even like. We often compare our lives to others — what jobs people have, their homes, or their clothes. And with the help of social media, we tend to compare our relationships as well. But the happiest of couples don’t look to see what the grass looks like on the other side. They are happy with the view out their own front door.
This article originally appeared on Bustle.