Navigating the deep, blue waters of a relationship can be tricky. As human beings, you want to be happy, and why wouldn’t you? You deserve to find happiness and be happy with the person you are with. More than that, you want to make your partner happy so they are just as crazy in love with you as you are with them. And everyone knows that little spats and fights always happen, it’s how you deal with the disagreement that counts. Do you drag it on for weeks and weeks or do you talk it out and get over it quickly? Are you a lover or a fighter? Since you all know that these fights will naturally incur in any healthy relationship anyways, here’s a list to help you avoid any unnecessary drama.
15. When They Wake You Up (For A Good Reason)
Yes, 8 hours of sleep a night is completely attainable if you make it work within your schedule. Even dudes need their beauty sleep to look and feel their best. There are lots of ridiculous times to be woken up: like when he can’t find the margarine to make himself a sandwich at 3:45a.m and you have a client meeting in 4 hours; or when he pokes you to take the dog outside when he is clearly awake and just doesn’t want to. But there are also times when he’s trying to be cute or helpful. Maybe you mentioned you wanted to get up early for a jog or he just wants to be cute and wake you up showering you in kisses. Either way, getting mad over this one isn’t going to help anyone, ladies.
14. When You’re Hungry
Snickers said it best, “You’re not YOU when you’re hungry” and they were bang on. The word “hangry” exists for a reason. Not eating can make even the best of us grumpy. Chances are, unless he ate the last pickle from the jar in your fridge and you have absolutely nothing else, it’s not his fault that you are hungry. Therefore, it’s also not his fault that you’re mad as a result of your hunger. Do yourself a favor and grab a granola bar before you say something you might regret.
13. When He Does Something Terrible In A Dream
They say that everyone you dream about is someone you’ve met, or at least seen, at some point. You need to have seen someone to be able to mentally recall images while sleeping. First, a friendly reminder that dreams are not real. Also worth remembering is that sometimes our subconscious mind makes us have weird dreams where people we care about, like our boyfriends, do really sh*tty things to us. When you wake up, try to remember that it was just a dream and getting upset with him over a dream he doesn’t even know about isn’t going to cause anything but stress.
12. When He Fails To Notice Something
Men are… how to word this… not as detail-oriented as you’d like them to be. He doesn’t pay attention if you wear the same jeans three days in a row, or if you lost those last 5lbs you’ve been DYING to lose. When you come home sporting a new blouse with a fresh new haircut and he tells you that you look nice but doesn’t point out anything specific, don’t be mad. He’s appreciating that you’re beautiful and doesn’t notice all the other little superficial things that women do to look and feel better about yourself.
11. When He Does A Shoddy Job
Oftentimes, couples will split up the crappy housework so no one gets screwed with all the unpleasantness. Perhaps you do dishes and he takes out the trash, or he vacuums and you scrub the kitchen and bathroom. Maybe you cook, or you split the cooking, or you take turns on the laundry. There are times when your man-friends will try to help you out if you’ve had a bad day or week and maybe try to do your task for you. And you don’t think it’s good enough compared to the way you usually do it, etc. but that’s no reason to get mad at him. He tried to do something nice for you so just bite your tongue and say thank you.
10. When He Doesn’t Want To Watch The Same TV Show As You
Opposites attract, so it’s a good thing that you guys have different opinions on things, from food, to television or books, or even what sport or activity you guys should sign up for together. It can be really nice to start a new TV series with your man or binge watch a trilogy of movies, but keep this in mind: there will be times in your life where he doesn’t want to do the same thing as you. So what if you can’t figure out why he doesn’t want to watch the live-action re-boot of Cinderella even though it’s so cool and a classic? Maybe he doesn’t want to get into Criminal Minds and play catch up when you’ve seen it all. It just might not be his thing so embrace the things you can do without him and do them when he’s not around.
9. When It’s Shark Week
*Cue JAWS music* Ah yes, that time of the month. Your male co-workers have started keeping a calendar so they know when to avoid talking to you about real things and even your mother knows not to pick a fight with you for these 4-7 days. Nonetheless, you live with your boyfriend, or at least see him regularly enough that you’re likely to see him at least a day or two of your cycle (or pre-cycle). Depending on when you are most emotionally affected by said monthly monster, it might be worth carrying around a chocolate bar, because no matter how upset you get, it’s probably not as bad as you’re taking it in these few moments and it’s not worth picking a fight with your love over.
8. When We’re Sick (And Blame Them)
Of course it’s his fault, right? We sleep next to each other, ride in the car together and have meals in the same room. It’s possible that you’ve had a brief brain-fart and have forgotten the hundreds of people you pass daily on public transit, at the office, at the grocery store, or that adorable barista who makes your Starbucks every morning. Yes, being sick sucks, and if he was sick the week before, it makes sense that he contributed to it, but blaming him and getting mad for the germs your body collected is just not worth the effort.
7. When He Acts Like A Dude
One of the thing guys like the most about living the bachelor life alone is that they don’t have to answer to anyone and they can do their own thing. If they want to wait three days to do the dishes, they can. If they want to not clean their shower for 6 months (eww), they can do that too. Silly things like when he throws the laundry at the hamper and always misses; and even if you adjust the hamper to be where his clothes are landing, his clothes somehow still miss it. It’s not a good reason to get upset at him. It’ll just make him wish he was still living the bachelor life. Better to just giggle and tell him he shouldn’t quit his day job to try out for the NBA.
6. When He Does Something Completely Normal To Him And We Don’t Like It
If the relationship is still fairly new and you two are still new to cohabitating or at least staying over on weekends, it’s more than likely that you haven’t gotten used to all his little quirks or habits yet. It’s easy to think about getting mad when he goes and grabs McDonalds instead of eating plates and plates of the dish you just Googled and slaved away making. Maybe it’s just his normal routine that he gets Mickey D’s on Wednesdays. Rather than chirping at him, put a plate in the fridge, cover it in saran and sooner or later, he’ll eat it and he’ll be grateful you didn’t force-feed it to him earlier.
5. When He Forgets To Do Something
It’s safe to say that most people live pretty busy lives. From working full-time, to taking care of your place, hitting the gym, to socializing with your girlfriends; all while trying to maintain a relationship. Guys are much the same. Gym, laundry, shower, maybe grab wings with the guys… how’s a guy to remember every single little thing? Next time he accidentally forgets to take out the trash when he promised you he would, don’t take it personally or be a jerk about it. Just slip him a friendly reminder or playfully tease him about his failing memory. It’s much less work than starting a fight over nothing.
4. Not Responding To Your Texts IMMEDIATELY
It’s fair to say that many of you share the same pet peeve: when we text someone and they take FOREVER to reply. Especially when this is a bff, your mom or your boyfriend. Devices like the “read” notification on the iPhone don’t do anyone any favours either. There’s nothing more awful than seeing they read the message immediately and then getting a reply 6 hours later, or worse, not at all. Guys are less attached to their devices than ladies are so if he doesn’t reply right away, try not to take it out on him. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to you, it’s more likely that he put his phone somewhere and doesn’t want to go looking for it or he’s got it on silent while he works.
3. When He Just Wants To Chill
You’re the 20-something year old, successful, up-and-coming, beautiful woman that you are and the world is your oyster. It’s easy to make plans all the time and get caught up in being busy. If you have a boyfriend, sometimes these plans become plans (or obligations) for him too. There are even times when you want him to help you do something simple and little and he says no. There will always be days where he wants to just sit around and relax. Maybe that means playing video games, or reading, or lifting weights in the basement. Either way, him needing some me-time or “chill out time” in no way means he doesn’t want to go to whichever event you are trying to drag him to, or help you make an elaborate dinner. Just give him his time and save yourself a ridiculous argument.
2. When He Goes Out With His Friends
Lots of couples are completely glued at the hip. And as much as you look at them and say “Oh, aren’t they ADORABLE?” part of you is also thinking “They make me sick.” Know what all successful couples have in common? Their own time, their own friends and their own space. Going out on double dates, out in groups or just to the pub to watch the game is great, especially when everyone in both groups gets along, but just because y’all are buds doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to just have guy time sometimes. Just remember, a good relationship doesn’t mean you spend every waking minute together, so let him go out and have his fun. There’s plenty of stuff you can do while he’s not in your way at home.
- When He Doesn’t Compliment You
There have surely been times when your boyfriend went out of his way to call you pretty or kiss you on the forehead and tell you that you’re beautiful. Sometimes, gals get all dolled out to go out to a big event; you pull out all the stops: your hair is perfect, you’re wearing a brand new dress with sexy shoes and your make-up is on point. And he walks past you in the bathroom and smiles, but says nothing! As unbelievable as this is because you worked your butt off for that compliment, sometimes guys just don’t think to compliment you that second. To them, the compliment they offered you in bed this morning is worth more than that new outfit you’re sporting.