Feeling stuck? Overwhelmed? Worrying that you ‘ll never be able to move forward? Wondering what to do to get out of this state? You are not alone! But you don’t have to live in misery either. Feeling stuck has more to do with your mental state, the way you think and less with your actual life circumstances. Here’s how to get unstuck.
If you don’t go after what you want, you ‘ll never have it.
I know how easy it is. How convenient. You know it too. Sitting there, thinking of all the things you want. All the things your heart desires that seem to float around you, beckoning you, promising you peace of mind, happiness, and all kinds of positive feelings. But there’s this hesitation, this hint of fear that holds you back, that keeps you waiting for something to happen and align your wishes with the desired results. You hope that somehow, in a magical way, those wonderful things will land on your lap. But they don’t. You get upset, frustrated, irritated, even angry. You ask, “Why me?” and “Why don’t I ever get what I want?” Your friends listen to you, support you, commiserate with you. They don’t have an answer to your question either.
Here’s what you need to do: acknowledge the fear and what holds you back. Then dive right in! Step out of your comfort zone and go after what you want. It’s the only way to get it. Seriously. Just say in your head what it is you want. Visualize it. and then go ahead, go after it, chase it, get it.
If you don’t ask, you ‘ll never know the answer.
Do you ever find yourself wondering about this guy? About the job that you ‘d like to get into but seem too hard? About a new friend or a new possibility? And you wonder “If only…” and you try to imagine the outcome, and you attempt to find out an answer, playing out in your head all kinds of different scenarios that would answer your original question. The problem is that we all have questions- all kinds of them: about facts, information, people, relationships, opportunities, about anything that’s related to our life. And we will keep having questions and live in a state of puzzlement and insecurity if we don’t start getting answers. Maybe you are afraid of the answer. Maybe you are afraid of the question.
The only way to get out of the state of insecurity and stop wondering “what if…” is to start asking questions- even the tough ones, even ones you think they have no answer or the ones you are afraid of what the answer might be. Ask the question and get an answer. That’s liberating and will allow you to move forward with confidence.
If you don’t seek, you ‘ll never find.
You probably think in terms of “when I get happy,” “when I get a better job,” “when I find the right person,” etc., etc., “then my life will be significantly better.” It may, or may not, that’s another whole story. The thing is that if you just contemplate about all these wonderful things that will make your life better, easier, happier, or whatever it is you are going after, you are still thinking about the change, you are not acting on it. Obviously, to make any change you have to think about it first, decide what matters to you, what it takes to get there, you also need to prepare mentally and make a plan, no matter how simple or detailed. But when all is said and done, you really and truly need to start seeking.
The only way to find what you want in life is to start seeking. You want a new relationship? Go ahead, look for the right person. You realize that’s not what you want? Say goodbye and move on, seeking the right person. Feeling stuck in your job, hoping to get something better? Hope alone doesn’t do the trick. Start sending resumes out. Remember that only if you are seeking you will find!
If you don’t make the first step forward, you ‘ll be stuck in the same place.
You want to move on, but something’s holding you back. You want to make a change but you think too much about it. “What if I can’t do it?” is another question you ask. So you wait some more, hoping you ‘ll stop being afraid or that you ‘ll feel ready to do it. And you wait. And you wait. And nothing changes. And you feel even more stuck and frustrated. Fear of the unknown is probably the number one reason that’s holding you back. OK, maybe it shares the first place with your worry that you may not be good enough. But waiting alone won’t solve the problem. You may feel stuck in so many different ways, in so many different settings, with so many different people.
The trick that does it is when you say to yourself “It’s OK, I’ll do my best,” and then you go ahead and do it. Take that first step, move forward and look behind to see that now you are one step ahead. This little step may be the first one to a long, amazing journey.