You have to stop giving so much of yourself to a man who frankly, has no interest in giving anything in return to you.
A lot of women will come up with a million theories when they’re trying to figure out why their men aren’t exactly chasing after them. She will say that maybe he probably doesn’t have the time. She will say that perhaps he’s just too busy dealing with other issues. She will think that perhaps he doesn’t think that he’s emotionally ready to pursue her at the moment. She will try to come up with all of these excuses and reasons so as to avoid confronting the real truth of the situation: he’s just not in love with you.
And no, he’s not just acting shy. He’s not second-guessing himself. He doesn’t have confidence issues. You aren’t an intimidating presence in life. It’s just the plain fact that he doesn’t love you enough to pursue you. You have to remember that if a man were truly into you, then he wouldn’t let anything get in his way. He wouldn’t succumb to the difficulties of trying to win you over. He wouldn’t let any setbacks keep him from getting you to fall for him. But if his feelings for you aren’t real, then he would willingly let himself get lost in all of the excuses in the world because he is not going to want to go after you.
Don’t forget that men typically like to be the ones who take initiative in the relationships. They are usually the ones who act as instigators. They love the thrill of the chase. The love the challenge of being able to win over a woman’s heart. He loves the actual pursuit. And that’s just plain fact. That’s how men’s brains are wired to think.
When a man sees something that he genuinely wants, he’s going to go after it with reckless abandon. However, if you notice that he’s not really putting in the effort with you, it’s because he’s just not as into you as you may have initially thought.
There are so many reasons that exist in the world as to why two people can’t be together. There are always going to be reasons. There are always going to be excuses. He isn’t going to have to put too much effort into trying to drum up an excuse to not pursue you. He is going to tell you anything that’s necessary to make you believe that his excuses are valid. For one, he doesn’t want his own ego to be damaged and so he will resort to these excuses to not go after you. But more likely, he just doesn’t want to have to deal with you getting hurt at the idea of him not liking you enough to chase after you. He’s not interested in you and he’s trying to mask his disinterest with these excuses. He’s going to tell you that there is just so much going on in the office and he can’t spare time to be in a relationship right now. He will tell you that he’s dealing with some serious personal issues that require his full attention. Some men will even take the cowardly route and just outright ghost a woman.
Sure, there might be some signs that he’s very much willing to make things work with you. He might exhibit some behaviors that show signs of promise. He smiles at you and he makes you laugh. He’s always warm towards you and he acts like a perfect gentleman whenever you’re together. You always have a good time and things seem to be going really well. But you can’t blind yourself to all of the bad stuff either. You have to take notice of the times where he starts being sketchy whenever you bring up talks of the future or of commitment. You can’t just ignore the fact that he refuses to put a label on your relationship. You can’t turn a blind eye to the times where he lashes out at you. These are all red flags about where he stands in this relationship with you and you need to be able to take notice of them for your own sake.
Believe that when a man truly loves you, he is going to do anything in his power to make sure that you understand just how special and valuable you are to him. And so the moment you start to doubt just how much you mean to him, then you know that he’s really not as into you as you would like him to be.
And as painful as it might be to listen to, it’s the truth; and the truth really does hurt.
By Relationship Rules