Growing up with a toxic parent can and does really suck. It leaves you with lasting issues, most of which you might not even notice.
While a toxic father can be just as damning, the toxic mother is much more common. Most people who grow up with a toxic mother don’t even realize that their home environment was as damaging as it was. They didn’t realize the things going on were not normal.
Even becoming aware of the toxicity isn’t enough to really resolve the lasting issues that might come with this kind of thing but it is a start. Below you will find a list of signs that your mother might have been toxic while you were growing up.
Please keep in mind your mother probably wasn’t harming you on purpose, chances are she didn’t realize she was doing any harm herself. You can still maintain a more appropriate relationship with her if you choose to but boundaries must be set.
10 Signs You Grew Up With A Toxic Mother:
1. You don’t know how to put yourself first.
You just aren’t sure how to put yourself first. You are always putting the wants and needs of everyone else before your own. Even when it matters most, you still ignore your own wants and needs.
2. You don’t often take your feelings into consideration.
You don’t take your feelings into consideration. You do whatever other people want you to do. Saying no is just not an option.
3. Your mother criticizes everything you do.
Your mother criticizes everything you do even now; nothing ever makes her happy. Even when you are at your, best she still tries to bring you down.
4. Your mother makes you pretty mad most of the time.
Your mother is always pushing your buttons. Most of the things she says and does gets under your skin. A lot of the time this is done on purpose…
5. You keep a lot of secrets.
You tend to keep a lot of secrets, because growing up she made you keep secrets. She didn’t want you to tell the rest of the world what all was going on within your household. Even emotions were not to be spoken about.
6. You have unusually low self-esteem.
You do not know your true potential. You are capable of so much more, but your self-esteem is so low. You were broken down as a child, even if it wasn’t done intentionally, it was still harmful.
7. You seek validation from others.
You seek external validation, and have an overwhelming urge to please everyone you meet. This makes you feel good, but it is extremely unhealthy.
8. You notice other people seem to have different relationships with their moms.
When other people talk about their moms, it is nothing like when you talk to yours. Their complaints seem so minor in comparison to yours even though you’d never say that out loud.
9. Your mother was always undermining your goals.
Your mother was always shoving you ten feet back. Nothing you ever did was good enough and your goals were unachievable. She didn’t want to see you succeed.
10. You don’t feel like you can go to her for support.
You can’t go to your mom when something is wrong like most people can. She isn’t there to support you in the ways other people’s mothers are. This can be heartbreaking when you really think about it.